Why keep bringing in sexuality?

It's a question I get regularly.

Because it was already there, our lives start in sexuality.

Nobody exists without that one aspect of sexuality and that is sex.

It makes life attractive as long as it's not abused.

Sexuality is so much more than just sex, it's our life bed.

In this bed lies an awful lot of mischief. So is madness. Almost or even down to the structure of physiology - heredity. 

At the same time, that same physiological DNA system contains something like the soul. 

Where even emotions can be explained to metabolism, there is a primal feeling of soul/ego/sense. Hail as opposed to doom.

Whether you are good or bad according to the norm, everyone strives for something, temporarily, always. 

Even death plays an important role in this. To heal the final split; to be (able to be) rid of it.

And the need to live and not to die, and to find it almost unacceptable that others make decisions about these kinds of choices, let alone to kill what is inside you and cannot get it out except to die yourself.

Sexuality is all-encompassing and there is a NO on that all-encompassing and we shouldn't talk about it all the time. What does it have to do with daily worries and crises?

Everything.

Life is progress, constant, a perpetuum mobile. Which can evolve well and badly.

Harmlessness leads to repetitive pain patterns and cycles that are never solved when the same templates are used in new contexts.

A lot of research is done into this: how what works and what the ultimate origin and basis of matter life is embedded.

By perhaps looking at life less nanotechnologically but at what our life form literally is, I look at what characterizes mankind.

The body.

The body with two genders in this species.

Equal yet unequal.

If one doubts the equality then sexuality speaks a role. 

Only the human egg cell and sperm cell ensure progress.

You don't get human children from fucking ants. Nor from a donkey. Unless there is manipulation?

Apparently everything has sense and meaning. 

From beginning to end in our physical existence.

And in that body there is an ego, a soul, that doesn't want to be unseen and meaningless.

Why am I working on restoring what has been abused and damaged in this system, in the human context?

Because recovery can, in that which has been split up by human action and needs to be lovingly reassessed and newly stencilled to the root in a confrontational way. Also by people, each other.

You can never do that alone, the human species is two. Group 'animals'.

"Leave me alone but not alone"

"A person's sexuality is already beginning to develop in the mother's belly," says Ellen Laan, professor of sexology at the AMC in Amsterdam. "And after birth, it continues immediately."

I dare to say that sexuality originates with the mother and the father, even before conception and how the (un)decision of conception takes place and the gender emerges from it.

Abuse is the opposite of use and suggests that there was a life for the moment, was it violated or unharmed?

Restoring the Trauma Sexual Identity to its own authentic and autonomous identity. 

Therefore.

 

SEXUALITY DEVELOPS AS EARLY AS CHILDHOOD 

Children can have orgasms even before adolescence. Sexuality arises young: "What your fantasies are, takes shape early on."

Internet pornography only affects a limited group of adolescents in the formation of their sexuality, it seems. What factors do play an important role in this? "A person's sexuality is already beginning to develop in the mother's belly," says Ellen Laan, professor of sexology at the AMC in Amsterdam. "And after birth, it continues immediately."

The sexual development of young children is largely unconscious, says Laan. "Babies and toddlers already have their sex. Children can get orgasms even before puberty. The substances that are then released ensure that that experience is linked to the actions that are performed in the brain."

Childhood until the age of twelve is indeed a crucial phase in the development of human sexuality, says Daphne van de Bongardt, pedagogue and sociologist at Erasmus University Rotterdam. She researches the development of intimate relationships and the sexuality of young people. "How you deal with the physical feelings you have discovered that you like them, you learn for the most part before adolescence. What you do and don't like, what your fantasies are, then already takes shape".

Role of the parents

In adolescence (12-18 years) most young people put these ideas into practice for the first time with peers, says Van de Bongardt. "You then have to combine your own wishes with the wishes of the person you are in bed with. These experiences also shape your own sexuality".

During adolescence, but certainly also in the years before, the role of the parents is very important, says Van de Bongardt. "A good relationship between parent and child - warm and bonded - makes it more likely that someone's sexuality will develop in a healthy and pleasant way.

This is not just about explicit information. Van de Bongardt: "Of course you have to talk about pornography these days, and it's not the case, for example, that all women have a shaved porno pussy and not all men have a huge penis. But it's just as important that children learn to pay attention to their own wishes and boundaries, and to respect those of others. These may not always be the easiest conversations, but if as a parent you show your child that you were young and had the same questions, that can be a good start of the conversation".

Muscle tension

It is difficult to determine why some events from childhood do have an impact on adulthood and others do not, says Laan. "My experience in clinical practice is that people who can't relax very well, who have experienced unpleasant things and for whom sex has been given a threatening component, need stronger and more explicit stimulation to experience sexual pleasure. Previous experiences, combined with the muscle tension in the body, determine what kind of stimuli you like. That doesn't mean that everyone who loves SM has a past.

Fetishes are more common in boys than in girls, says Laan. "They are caused by an accidental convergence of the excitement response and stimuli from the environment. So that certainly doesn't always have to do with an unpleasant experience."

Childhood and adolescence are important, but human sexuality remains "fluid," says van de Bongardt. When someone has a long relationship for the first time, or after the birth of children, changes occur. The building blocks laid in your childhood are rearranged for the rest of your life."