Sexual abuse. You hear it every fucking day in the news and yet you prefer not to talk about it.
Neither do I. There are more fun things to waste your day with. It's crowded enough already and I also have the right to enjoy Netflix.
And Nashville isn't about that at all, is it? Isn't that right? What is homosexuality then? Homosexuality is not an abuse, but it is how it is dealt with!
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Every time I drive past a certain place on the highway, I think of her. Because she lives in that neighbourhood and I know her there. Glass up, teeth naked and shining next to her husband with a slightly more conservative smile like men should do, right?!
Cheers to the beautiful life of love.
Behind that laugh is sexual abuse. When she was still a cheerful, curious girl in a world where prestige, study and bravura were and still are a normal code of life. The silence was forever imposed that sex is possible at that age. Her sexual body, ripened to adulthood, was shaken up prematurely and she grew up dependent on the sexual incubator, as it were. This code and incubator is still active today. Because it seems to be about life and death when you break the code. And we want to hold on to it, even if it hurts, it's better to believe that than to believe that there's a road that's not on google maps.
When it comes to abuse, we don't want to know. That it's about us. Man, woman, child and that sexual abuse is about sexuality and we don't really know how to deal with it at all: with our sexuality. That we don't know our way around it as well as we think or wish to think and even think we feel.
Because we think in lust, have the right to that lust that is hidden between our legs. In the meantime we become unbalanced when we start thinking in perspective of faith, creation and society. Then sometimes hell breaks loose.
After all, what do you actually want to say?
What the f*ck is the message of everyone who says something about it, writes, thinks, judges, turns away, yes, you belong somewhere if you have only heard it.
How high can you raise your glass and continue to raise your glass to the life of love?
High I would say! But if you don't want to fake and be or become one, then that peculiar complexity of sexuality is there to at least talk about it.
Everyone is a bit right. But preaching limitlessness or the opposite in the name of the person or what no one ever saw, sees or will see is abuse of power and is invisibly connected to one's own sexuality.
Just the pain all over it, like graffiti on your soul marked by artistic others.
Talk about it.
But I would argue that we should talk about it. Stop divorcing and splitting but have the guts to engage in sexuality with depth and with humour, black or light, in the fullness of our lives. The Nashville declaration is a bull's-eye when it comes to sexuality and its wholeness.
To break the old codes but not to hide or deny them or to pretend that you have nothing to do with them and already own the Holy Grail.
I also need to be 'myself' and be able to be...and that if I really am myself, I can maintain myself without being authority-dependent, I am lonely vulnerable but persevering and persistent in entering into dialogue and connection with the other.
Sexuality is a continuum, creates life - and surprisingly different from what you fill in and think about yourself - and gives colour to life. Let's not blacken it together, even for someone else who thinks and acts differently about it. But we do have the guts to make our own choices. That are not at the expense of the healthy sexual development of the other person.
Sexuality is not divisible and yet we do it because we don't like to break old codes. And we unconsciously perpetuate sexual abuse...to the point of condemnation.
When I'm back on the highway at that one place I look aside because I know she lives and lives there and likes to keep raising her glasses.
Because there are so many men who are victims, and women who are perpetrators of sexual abuse and this has to be turned around.
That all education, education, services, justice, church, religion, care have to know what sexuality takes up for a powerful and beautiful place in our society and abuse, also and especially sexual abuse has to stop at the root.
I would like to come and take the step that you would rather not take now. NO, it won't come "yet" or "later" or "isn't necessary".......that's exactly the move you're going to make at Monopoly.
It is about us people and also about money, not to mention the latter....we do have to talk about it! Sexuality and abuse.
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